He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
