3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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