Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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