How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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