So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
