Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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