Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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