Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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