how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Randomize
