Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
