I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Green mimosas i think yes
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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