what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
