just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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