what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
