There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
