Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
a search helicopter?!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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