omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
