If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize