Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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