I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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