is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
