Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
