if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
