And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
