sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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