Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
40s are totally the cure
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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