The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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