is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
where does the pee come out of this thing
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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