yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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