problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
