marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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