Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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