i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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