The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
