I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
