id be glad to
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He did a backflip because drugs
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
