I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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