Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize