Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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