He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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