Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
