Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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