I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
