I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
