I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
