Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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