Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
