you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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