Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
