My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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