i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
