Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
