Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
