My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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