Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
