We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
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