Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
