he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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