I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
