the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My dick has a subreddit
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
