im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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