so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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