So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
