Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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